sometimes I just want to cry it out
but then
the feeling that how everyone will take it
how people will judge me if I try to show the
hidden scary, haunting, despair, broken
things that are stuck in my mind and don’t want to
come out.

Sometimes I just want to leave everything
and leave the place and go where no one knows me
want to go far, far and far
and sit there in peace for a moment
where I will be with me only
I will be with the calm mountains
high sky
and deep down the earth.

Sometimes I just want to hit
the surface hard
so hard that it ruptures all the veins
and let the feelings that are killing
me inside
come out and get buried under the earth.

Sometimes I just want to
write everything down
everything I wish to
everything that can heal me
everything that can make me at peace
but then
how you and how everyone will take it.

Sometimes I just want to
hit everyone
shouting around
in a loud voice
to keep them mum
and let my mind doesn’t gets
struck with the noise
and my heart will not beat
at much higher pace then I can adapt.

Sometimes
I just want someone
to come and hug me
hug me for no reason
hug me without a promise
hug me without any complaint
hug me without any question
and a hug without
making me indulge in more
and more rays of anxiety.

Sometimes
I too want you to care for me
care without any condition
care without any questions
care like I expect

and sometimes
I want to kill
every emotion, every expectation
that is haunting me
and I am unable to tell you
and unable to tell everyone
I love so much
and unable to tell
my shadows

sometimes
sometimes I want to
swim in an ocean
and cry till the last
drop of tear mixes in ocean
and releases me from all the pain
all the trauma
all the hurt
all the heart break that I am feeling
this time

Sometimes
I just want to
read all the scriptures
to find the answers of my
unavoidable questions
to find the answers my soul wants to hear
Just from the supreme being
just to
build more trust
just to help myself not to break trust
on my last
one hope
on supreme being

Sometimes
I just want to trash
all
which includes
me, my feelings
my expectations
my relations
my soul
in a pit
and close it
with the stuff
that is
not possible to
uncover and see my buried
parts to examine
what I had been gone through

Sometimes, I just want to Quit!!